בס''ד
TAHARAT HAMISHPACHA
"Those who do not have children, will get pregnant and those that usually deliver children with great difficulties, will have easy child birth". Chafetz Chaim Zt"l
The purity of our women is the foundation of the holiness of our people. The Holy One, blessed be He, commanded us, the husbands to separate from their wives during their periods of Niddah (menstruation), until they have come to count the days said of "Purity" and that they submerge on a Kosher Mikvé of 40 Se-ah (332 liters). A divine decree from our G-d, and only Hashem knows the secret of such a divine decree, whereby women need to purify themselves and sanctify themselves. During the period of separation they ensure that their husbands remain pure by avoiding inappropriate relationships; only by keeping these rules our families will be able to conceive children in purity and holiness.
SEE VIDEO - SECRETS OF THE JEWISH MIKVEH
INTRODUCTION
"Those who do not have children, will get pregnant and those that usually deliver children with great difficulties, will have easy child birth". Chafetz Chaim zt´´l
The purity of our women is the foundation of the holiness of our people. The Holy One, blessed be He, commanded us, the husbands to separate from their wives during their periods of Niddah (menstruation), until they have come to count the days said of "Purity" and that they submerge on a Kosher Mikveh of 40 Se-ah (332 liters). A divine decree from our G-d, and only Hashem knows the secret of such a divine decree, whereby women need to purify themselves and sanctify themselves. During the period of separation they ensure that their husbands remain pure by avoiding inappropriate relationships; only by keeping these rules our families will be able to conceive children in purity and holiness.
CHAPTER 01 - GENERAL RULES
1) When a woman notes that blood comes out of her (whether it happens during her normal period or not ), she takes the status of (becomes) niddah as a consequence, it is then prohibited for her husband to touch her: He can neither touch nor have conjugal relations with her until she makes the Hefsek Taharah ( examination of purity following her period ) and has counted the 7 days and does the tevilah in a kosher mikveh.
Anyone who does not respect the laws of niddah ( family purity ) incurs the penalty of “Hayav karet” ( entrenchment of the soul from the Jewish people ) . Any approach denoting affection ( or any emotional touch ) is prohibited "Min hatorah " (forbidden emanating from the torah ) . Any approach or touch, Affection is prohibited " mid dérabanan " (forbidden emanating from our sages).
2 ) There is no difference between a married or a single woman when it comes to the status of niddah. A young girl is niddah from her first period until the eve of her wedding, more precisely until the very moment when she comes out of the mikveh following the pre-wedding Tevilah.
3 ) Whatever the reason or cause might be , the moment in which a woman perceives that there is blood coming out of her womb, she is in the status of niddah in that very moment.
The following cases indicate when a woman becomes niddah :
a) If she feels an opening sensation of her womb ⇒ Niddah Min-Hatorah. She is
considered Niddah even if she does not see any blood, due to the fear that a
drop of blood could have been lost in the womb; therefore, the case of any
sensation of womb opening is associated with a blood flow. So she is niddah
and must count the 7 days of purity preceding the tevilah in a Kosher mikveh .
However, since no blood was found, she may do the tevilah without beracha. .
b) If a woman felt a tremor in her body and finds blood ⇒ Niddah Minhatorah. If in
the same case, no blood was found, she remains pure (Not Niddah).
c) If a woman feels a flow of the body that feels different than the normal blood
flow from her womb and she finds blood ⇒ Niddah Miderabanan. If in the
same case, no blood was found, she remains pure.
d) If She finds a spot without having any sensation ⇒ Niddah Miderabanan.
e ) During the examination (Hefsek Taharah), if the Taharah Cloth / bedikah
comes out bloodstained ⇒ Niddah Min Hatorah. (because there is a
doubt about the origin of the blood (womb or not)).
f) If a woman superficially examined herself with a Taharah Cloth and found blood. The
blood might not be from the deep ⇒ Niddah Miderabanan. If a woman has a
doubt about her sensation or what she feels and finds nothing during her
verifications, in that case she is not niddah, she is pure. Even if this occurs the
night that she should have had her period and even if she usually has a fixed
period cycle.
4) If a woman finds a red spot over 2 cm wide in her white underwears, then she is niddah miderabanan. On the other hand, if the spot was found on her color underwears, and therefore she does not see the stain, she remains pure.
Warning: This is only valid if the woman did not feel any sensation of womb opening.
5) If a woman finds a spot /stain after having a relationship with her husband, she becomes niddah miderabanan. However, if the spot / stain is less than 2 cm in diameter or if the stain is found in a non-white fabric (color fabric), she remains pure.
CHAPTER 02: - MOMENTS IN WHICH THE WOMAN REMAINS PURE FOLLOWING SENSATIONS of WOMB OPENING
1) If a woman feels a womb opening sensation during her season of purity. She will conduct a routine Hefsek Taharah (Purity check) and if after the examination, she only finds a substance that is white, or green, or yellow then she remains pure. Indeed, this is true even if such substances come out of her womb. These colors do not cause any woman to become niddah.
2) After a woman has done her Hefsek Taharah (Purity check) three times following a womb opening sensation and she still find signs or colors indicating purity, she does not need to continue examining herself. This is evidently more a certainty in our generation, in which women wear underwear, nowadays a woman will probably often have no need for an examination to find out when she gets her periods. As a blood stain would be very obvious on her clothes.
3) A woman will remain pure, if she feels something similar to the usual womb opening associated with the beginning of her periods, but fails to find any blood, that is true after three Hefsek Tahara (verifications) in a row.
CHAPTER 03 - LATE EXAMINATION , WAY TO EXAMINE ONESELF, PREGNANT WOMAN
1) If a woman has not examined herself immediately after feeling a womb opening sensation (which is not recommended), she is not permitted to her husband until after an Hefsek Taharah (Purity check), unless she already has the purity certainty (after 3 consecutive examinations). For details see previous halacha.
However, a posteriori, if she has only conducted a verification 24 hours later after the sensation and discovered a liquid color indicating purity, then she is pure. On the other hand, if she doesn’t find anything at all, then she shall be unclean for a doubt exist.
2) If a woman who had felt a womb opening sensation and discovers after a while a spot that has dried to the point that it could no longer be clearly seen, but one would think that it is a color indicating purity, in that case she remains pure.
3) How should a woman conduct a purity verification? When a woman examines herself after a womb opening sensation, she must first, start by wiping herself from inside out (outward wiping).
a) If she finds a substance (liquid) of a color indicating purity, she is pure.
b) If she doesn’t find anything, she then will have to examine deeper and more
thoroughly.
- If she doesn’t find anything, she is Niddah (unclean/ not pure)
- If she finds a substance (liquid) of a color indicating purity, she is pure.
4) A pregnant or nursing woman that feels a womb opening sensation and if after examining finds nothing remains pure as these two types of women usually have the certainty ('Hazaka) of being free from blood flow.
However, if they had the feeling of the womb opening sensation, they must conduct a verification all the same, because in some instances they can still be considered niddah (example: if they find a substance that is considered to be impure blood). It is obvious however that if they find a substance of a color indicating purity, then they remain pure.
CHAPTER 04 - THE LAWS OF HEFSEK TAHARAH AND THE 7 DAYS OF PURITY
1) Verification of the Hefsek Tahara (Purity interruption). When a woman notices blood coming out of her womb, she is experiencing a purity interruption, she will be able to purify herself again from her uncleanness only after counting seven pure days (days clean from blood flow) and then dip herself in a kosher mikveh.
However, before she starts counting the seven clean days, she will have to wait until her period stops to mark a separation between the counting of unclean days and the seven clean (impure) days. Then she will examine herself : This is the Hefsek Taharah.
Procedure: On the day that her blood stops, she will examine herself properly with a clean cloth and start counting the seven days of purity the next day. The first day of the Hefsek Taharah does not count as part of the seven days of purity.
Example: If a woman has her Hefsek Taharah on Sunday, she will start counting from Monday on and at the end of seven days of purity (Sunday night. See chapter XII, 5)), Then she dips herself in a pure mikveh and so become pure again.
2) The number of days that must precede the Hefsek Taharah
a) Although a woman has stopped seeing blood, she will begin counting the seven
days of purity only after a minimum of four days. The reason for this being that:
The seven days of purity must be pure and free from sperm rejection. Indeed, it
is believed that if a woman has had sex with her husband in a moment close to
her cycle, she could be rejecting sperm even four days after. And It is also
obvious that if she still continues to lose blood after four days, she will have to
wait the end of her blood flow to start counting the seven days. Our brothers
the Ashkenazim are stricter in this regard, they always wait five days before
they start counting the seven days of purity. Those women who took upon
themselves to follow the Ashkenazi way will have to do Atarat Nedarim
(Cancellation of vows). However, if she behaved so believing with certainty that
this was the Halacha, then she will not need to do Atarat Nedarim.
b) Women should be strict and wait always at least a minimum of four days,
specially if she had sex with her husband in a time close to her periods. But if
she did not have sex with her husband in the three days preceding her cycle,
she may do her Hefsek Tahara the same day she stops seeing blood, even if it
has only been the flow one single day. The Ashkenazims ignore this advice and
still count 5 + 7 whether she has had sex before or not (and that is true even if
the husband is out of town).
c) If a woman discovers an unclean spot of blood without having any sensation
(so it might not be her periods): If she had sex before that, it is good to be
stricter in that regard and do the Hefsek Taharah four days after just in case
(issur Miderabanan: See Chapter I, d.)). If she did not have sex four days
previous to that, then she may count the seven days of purity immediately. Our
brothers the Ashkenazim are stricter when it comes to this case (5 + 7).
d) Even the Ashkenazims could base their traditions on Maran (author of the
Sephardic Shulchan Aruch) If a doctor says that a woman that counts the five
days is missing her ovulating or if her periods begins immediately after the five
days. In any case, she must seek the advice of a rabbinical authority.
e) Where a woman will not have to wait a number of days before the Hefsek
Taharah When a woman sees blood, does the Hefsek Taharah, begins counting
the seven days and while counting, she sees blood. In such a case, she should
not wait four or five days before repeating her Hefsek Taharah, she may start
counting the seven days of purity immediately when the blood stops. And this
valid for both Sefaradim and Ashknazim. Similarly if she saw blood on the night
of the Mikvah, before having sex with her husband, she can do the Hefsek
Taharah the very next day and recount the seven days. This is also valid for a
woman that see an impure spot due to her virginity, if after 3 or 4 days she
sees another bloodstain: she may do her Hefsek Taharah the same day.
f) When a woman has had sexual intercourse with her husband and sees blood a
few days after, she may do the Hefsek Taharah immediately then count the
seven days. She only needs to first wipe herself with a soft cloth to remove
sperm from inside or by washing her inside with hot water like taking a hot bath.
However, it will be even better to do both things. Then, she may start counting
the seven days of purity the next day. The Ashkenazim however, are more
stringent.
g) Getting Ready for the Hefsek Taharah examinations. It is advisable for women to
wash well before doing the Hefsek, specially her private parts. In a situation
where she does not find water, she may examine herself without washing. Once
finished, she must change her underwear and put on a clean and white one
which must have been examined beforehand to ensure that there is no blood
stain on it. She must also change the sheets and put on clean white ones on the
bed. If a woman is prone to staining and fears to find any, she may put on color
underwear that will not receive the impurity of stain. She could do the same for
the sheets.
h) The time of Hefsek Taharah. The Hefsek Taharah should be performed at the
end of the day, from the Plag Hamincha. The woman should examine herself
before sunset. It is recommended that she examines herself ½ hour before
sunset (shkiya) because if she finds a stain, she will still have time to examine
herself again before the sunset and she may do so until the Taharah Cloth comes one
perfectly clean from all stain. In case she forgot to do her examining before
shkiya and she does it after "bein hashmashot" (period of time between the
sunset and the appearance of the stars), the results will be validated later (Bedi
Haavad) and she can start counting the seven days from the next day on.
i) If a woman is used to praying Arvit every night before Sunset (with minyan) she
must do her Hefsek Taharah before her prayers. However, if she ever prays
Arvit before examining herself, she may do her Hefsek Taharah before shkiya
(Bedi Haavad). Similarly, if she has lit her Shabbat candles before, she can be
examined before the shkiya and she may even do it at the appearance of the
stars, only if there is no other solution.
CHAPTER 05 - VALID FABRIC FOR HEFSEK TAHARAH THE 7 DAYS OF PURITY.
1) These examines must be made with a white, soft, clean cloth; or a white cotton cloth. In the case where the woman can only find a color cloth, it can be used as long as it's not red or black and that is clear enough to detect blood. Similarly, it is allowed to be verified with white paper (Bedi aavad).
2) In the case where it would be difficult for her to be verified herself with a dry cloth, she can pre-wet it before use. But in no case should the examines be made with a finger, even Bedi aavad. If she needs to do the examination on Shabbat, it's good to be strict and should not rip cotton cloth.
CHAPTER 06 - PROCEDURE OF THE HEFSEK TAHARAH - HOW TO
1) Before examining herself, she must first make sure that the cloth or tissue that she intends to use is a suitable Taharah Cloth for this verification. Then she shall wrap the cloth around her finger, and push it into her depth and turn it in all directions. If the cloth comes out clean, her Examination would have made her pure and she may start counting the seven days of purity the very next day. Otherwise, she will wash and re-start this process until the Taharah Cloth comes out clean (She may do this several times in the same day until sunset, or the next day).
2) The Hefsek Taharah (examines) must be done as follows: The woman will enter the witnessing cloth within the ré'hèm (her vagina) inserting it deeply into the holes and cracks, as far as to where her husband's organ usually reaches during their intercourse, it is not enough in any case to simply push it in, remove it, and just clean it, she must wipe herself well inside. However, if she managed to examine and clean well in cracks and holes, it will be considered as a valid bedika (examination). This rule will also apply for the woman who suffers from a deep thorough examination. And it will obviously also be valid for a young virgin bride doing her first examinations before the wedding. And for whoever can not conduct a proper examination because whenever she does an examination blood appears, she must consult with a rabbinical authority.
3) It would be good if she put a foot on the ground and the other on a chair to better examine herself. However this is not an obligation according to halacha.
4) If a woman did her Hefsek Taharah and the Taharah Cloth came out tainted with blood, she may rewash in depth and wipe herself well, she will be able to conduct another examination. If the Taharah Cloth comes out clean, then we can validate her Hefsek Taharah. And she may actually repeat this process until she gets a clean Taharah Cloth. However, she must be careful to finish her Bedika before Shkia. If a woman has an open wound in that area that prevents her from doing a proper examination, she then should consult a rabbinical authority.
5) If a woman has an IUD (ring inserted into her womb for contraceptive purposes) after Rabbinic authorization, she will do her Hefsek taharah and count 7 days of purity normally without considering the IUD. She will not be obliged to have it removed. But a woman who uses condoms for women must take them off before examining herself. And even in retrospect, if she forgot to remove it, she will have to remove it and redo her examination from the beginning. However, if she forgot to take it off and did recalled only after the Mikveh, she will not be obliged to re-examine and re-count: she shall be clean.
6) When verifying to ensure that the clothes are suitable for the various examinations (whether it is the cloth for Hefsek and / or the cloths for the 7 days) it shall be done at daylight in order to properly detect any traces of blood or stains in potential Taharah Cloth. However, electricity has the same status as daylight. Therefore she may verify them with an electric light. Even if she verified the potential Taharah Clothes with candle light, it can be validated. All this is valid when the Taharah Cloth comes out clean. However if it comes out tainted, it would be better to rely on daylight because the electric light can distort the color of the control.
CHAPTER 07 - INSERTING A MOCH DACHUK DURING BEIN HA-SHMASHOT
1) It is always good to primarily be more strict and proceed as follows: after the hefsek taharah examination with a clean bedikah before sunset, she must insert another Bedikah (stain checker) also known as a *Moch and leave it in during bein hashmashot (period of time between sunset and at the appearance of the first starts). Thus, this procedure will remove any nagging doubts. Nevertheless, if is difficult to keep the Moch in for that period of time, either due to pain or fear of it causing unrelated bleeding; in that case then, she may get rid of the Moch. This rule is applicable also in the case of a virgin bride who does her Hefsek Taharah before her wedding.
2) When a woman inserts the Moch and keeps it in for the whole time of bein hashmashot, she does not need to push it in entirely. It is just good that the Moch be placed a few minutes before sunset and remains there until the first stars appear.
3) When a woman discovers an unclean spot without any sensation (miderabanan) it will not be compared to a woman who received her period. According to the halacha, she just needs to examine herself well before sunset without proceeding to the Moch dachuk.
4) When a woman puts the Moch dachuk (tightly packed wadding), she cannot go out in the street with it during shabbat unless there is an eruv in her area of the city.
CHAPTER 08 - THE BEHAVIOUR OF WOMEN AFTER THE BEDIKAH OF THE HEFSEK TAHARAH
1) After the Hefsek, she must examine her clean underwear to avoid confusion with previous bloodstains, she must not put any clothes stained at least until the end of shiva Nekiyims (seven days of purity). This verification must also be conducted with her sheets, besides her underwear.
However, if a woman is prone to having stains in all her clothes, during the seven days, she may wear colored clothes. She may also use color sheets for her bed. Given that a stain thereof will signify impurity.
In the case that she finds a stain without any feeling or sensation, she may continue counting normally.
2) If a woman kept her stained underwear on for the 7 days, her counted days are till validated.
CHAPTER 09 : THE EXAMINATIONS OF THE SEVEN DAYS OF PURITY
1) - Every single one of the 7 days of purity, the woman must examine herself and check her clothes, mainly twice a day (once in the morning and once in the evening before sunset).
If the shkiya is already passed before her second daily Hefsek, she may do it during bein hashmashot.
- If a woman has only examined herself the first and the seventh day, it is still validate as though she had done it every day, and may then go to the Mikveh. However, if a woman has not examined herself not even on the first and seventh day, her counting is not valid, she must restart counting from zero.
If a woman has a wound or if she suffers from this daily self-examinations, she may conduct examinations on the first and last day only; but if it is difficult to examine herself at all, even on these two times only, she must consult with a rabbinical authority.
2) If a woman has examine herself with the Moch Dachuk and the next day, forgot to conduct an examination, she may finally count the Moch as her first daily examination.
3) If a woman found an impure stain without feeling any sensation (case miderabanan), she must do her hefsek taharah and count the seven days of purity just as she normally does when she ends her regular monthly period. However, even if in this case she only did hefsek and self-examined on the first day only, or then made the hefsek and self-examined on the seventh day only, she may go to the Mikveh, although in the similar event following her normal period this would be forbidden.
4) If a woman has not examined herself following the Hefsek Taharah until eight day later, she must consider that day as the first day and must add 6 more days.
5) If a woman did not examine herself until the third day, she must count the third day as the first day if she didn't even do the Moch Dachuk. Likewise for the woman who didn't examine the seventh day, she must examine herself on the 8th day.
6) All the conditions outlined in the preceding paragraphs in regards to the indicator of the Hefsek Taharah are all applicable for the examinations of the seven days of purity.
CHAPTER 10 - THE BEHAVIOUR OF WOMEN DURING THE 7 DAYS OF PURITY
1) It is permissible for a woman during the Shivah Nekiyim to wash her body in a hot water bath. And there is no fear that water would make the blood disappear. She is even allowed to enter the water jet stream in her.
2) There is no obligation for a woman to conduct more examinations than the Halachically mandatory ones. Generally, the more examinations one does, the better. However, she is forbidden to conduct examinations when she is pure, especially right before intercourse or even after. This prohibition stems from the Sages' fear that the husband comes to doubt and to say that if she does it again, maybe it is that she may have felt something.
CHAPTER 11 : ERROR IN THE ACCOUNTING OF THE SHIVAH NEKIYIM
1) If a woman mistakenly cut short the 7 days of purity, and wrongly went to the Mikveh 1 or 2 days earlier, she must go a second time to the Mikveh at the end of the correct 7 days count of purity. This rule applies provided that she has not had intercourse with her husband between the first and the second "real" Tevilah.
2) If she had intercourse after the first "bad" immersion, she will have to add another 4 days on top of her shiva Nekiyim and only then will she be allowed to do the second immersion. (4 days for the sperm to come out + the missing days = 5 days minimum). Solution: To avoid account for 4 days, she will need to wash well thoroughly to get the sperm out and thus she will be able to add only the missing days.
3) If a woman immersed herself on the right day, but tevilah was not kosher (ex.: due to the fact that she forgot to take off her ring, etc ...), in that case, she may return to the Mikveh at her earliest convenience, but the sooner, the better.
4) If a woman has doubts about her correct count, like forgetting when was the first day, she must then add one more day in the case of a Deoraitah impurity (forbidden according to the Torah), we are obviously less lenient when the prohibition is a commandment of the Torah. However, if the prohibition is derabanan (forbidden by the Sages), she may go to the Mikveh regardless of the doubt.
5) If a woman interrupted the counting of the shiva Nekiyim, either due to the fact that her husband would not return early from his travels, but he returned, or following an argument between the couple, when they are finally reconciled, she must recount from zero the shiva Nekiyim.
6) If a woman found a bloodstain during the seven days of purity and puts it aside to consult a Rabbi 1 or 2 days later, given that she was pure when that occurred, she may proceed with her counting without considering the interruption.
CHAPTER 12 : WHEN IS THE CORRECT TIME FOR WOMEN TO IMMERSE THEMSELVES.
1) It is forbidden for a woman niddah to delay the tevilah, when her husband is in town, she must fulfil the mitzvah of getting ready for the Mikveh on time to prevent the cancellation of the other mitzvah about his obligation to satisfy his wife and to procreate. It is written (Eruvin p63) that Yehoshua Bin Nun was punished because he prevented the men from seeing their wives one night. Even if there is an argument between the husband and the wife, she has no right to push him away to make him suffer. However, if there are valid reasons (illness among other or if she doesn’t want her little children to know about her tevilah, she is then allowed to delay it with her husband's consent), in such circumstances, the tevilah can always be postponed. It is also always good to consult a rabbi.
2) All of this applies when the husband is in town. But if he is away and if he is not returning in a few days or weeks, she is not obliged to immerse herself.
3) Laws of tevilah for Friday night (Shabbat):
a) If the water of the mikveh is hot or warm It is justified to immerse
during "bein hashmashot"; however, if that is not possible, she must
Immerse herself in that water anyway given that she is not allowed to
postpone the tevilah.
b) If the water of the mikveh is cold, she will immerse without
problems.
c) Favorable order of Tevilah:
- Friday evening after sunset in cold, warm or hot water,
- Friday evening after the appearance of the stars in warm water,
- Friday evening after the appearance of the stars in hot water.
d) If a woman is immersing herself before Shabbat (Friday evening) or
during twilight (bein hashmashot), she must wash her hair and
comb it before Shabbat nearing the tevilah time. After the tevilah,
she must be very careful to dry her hair very gently.
e) If the tevilah falls on a Friday night corresponding to the 9 Av, she
will be allowed to immerse herself the same evening, given that it
is a normal Shabbat, because the fast has been postponed.
4) The laws of Saturday night tevilah: A woman must be very careful not to prepare anything for tevilah before the end of Shabbat.
5) It is prohibited to immerse oneself on the 7th day while it is still daytime. We must wait for the sunset on the evening of the seventh day of the shivah Nekiyim to immerse oneself, given that the sunset will already be the beginning of the 8th day. She will not be able to touch her husband anyway before nightfall. Therefore it will be better for her to immerse at that time. There are no differences in this case between a woman that is impure due to a Deoraitah bloodstain and another impure due to a derabanan stain. It is also the same for a woman who lost her virginity blood. However, if a woman mistakenly immersed herself before sunset while it is forbidden, she will not be forced to dip herself in the mikveh a 2nd time.
6) The new bride: If a bride is doing her pre-wedding tevilah, she may do so on the 7th day during daylight.
7) When is a woman allowed to immerse on the 7th day: In the case of major circumstances that would prevent a woman from doing tevilah after sunset and that she would also know that she will not be able to do it neither on the 8th in the evening, nor on the 9th, then she would be allowed to do so the 7th day provided it is close to the sunset, in which case she should not go home before the appearance of the stars, it will be forbidden for her to touch her husband before that time.
8) What major circumstances would allow the woman to do a tevilah on the 8th day during the daytime? These are: sickness, robbers, thieves, looters, cold weather, distant mikveh, late at night, or a woman that desires to hide her tevilah from curious eyes. In these cases, she may immerse on the 8th even in the afternoon. Warning: These exceptions are only valid under major circumstances, it is otherwise forbidden to immerse on the 8th and 9th day by day so that our daughters may not develop the bad habits and come to immerse under normal circumstances on the 7th day before sunset.
9) If a woman did her tevilah and 2 or 3 days later discovered that it was not a kosher mikveh, she must redo it only at night time.
10) If a woman did her tevilah on the 8th day during daytime, which was the most convenient time for her due to circumstances, she will not be allowed to have sex with her husband before nightfall. However, they may get close to each other, and even pass on objects to each other. Nonetheless, It would be preferable if she went home only at night after the mikveh. On the other hand, if a woman did her tevilah during daytime on the 7th day, which is forbidden, and if she went home after immersing herself on that forbidden day, she is not allowed to come close to her husband in anyway before nightfall.
CHAPTER 13 : IMMERSION, BERACHA AND BEHAVIOUR AFTER THE TEVILAH
1) Immersion cases: When a woman is niddah, the only way for her to purify herself is by immersion into a kosher mikveh. This is also true for a woman who has just given birth. Even if many years have passed since the last time she was niddah (last time she had her periods). Any man that has intercourse with a woman niddah will be Hayav Karet (Elimination of his soul from its source), they will both be guilty of Hayav Karet at every single time they touch each other intimately. This severe punishment goes on both the husband and the woman niddah. And this is true even if she washed in a bath or a shower and poured upon herself all the waters in the world, she will still remain niddah.
2) The blessing of the Tevilah: The blessing must be said before the actual Tevilah. She must say the blessing with her bathrobe outside the room where the mikveh is located (just outside in the little hall), then undress and come into the mikveh without interruption. That is the custom of the Sefaradim, according to Maran, the author of the Shulchan Aruch. The Ashkenazim however, say the berachah in the mikveh. Only in the case when the water of the Mikveh is warm, then they do as we do, reciting the beracha outside. This is the blessing that she must say, "Baruch ATA Adonai Eloheinu Melech Ha-Olam asher Kideshanu Be Mitzvotav Ve Tzivanu Al Tevilah ". We do not do the "Shehecheyanu" at the first Tevilah.
Reminder 1: If a woman had found a stain of impurity without sensation, she should immerse herself with beracha although, she is considered as unclean, derabanan. Indeed, as there is a doubt about the source of the blood (from the womb or not), our sages have decreed that she must do the Tevilah
Reminder 2: A bride who had her first mitzvah intercourse, whether she had seen her virginity blood or not, she must say the berachah before immersing herself.
3) The behaviour of women after the Tevilah:
After doing her Tevilah, a woman should endeavour to meet with her girlfriend and touch her. Indeed she should not have as her first contact after Tevilah an animal, or a goy, or a Jew who does not recite the Shema. And if she ever happen to have, as her first contact, after the Tevilah one of these people, then she must redo the Tevilah, but without beracha.
There are no prohibitions for a woman to take a shower immediately after immersion, if she so desires.
CHAPTER 14 : THE BEHAVIOUR OF THE MAN AND THE WOMAN DURING THE PERIOD OF SEPARATION
The man has an obligation to separate from his wife until after the Tevilah.
According to some of our contemporary masters including Maran, author of the Shulchan Aruch, the prohibition to touch one's wife when she is niddah, whether it is an affectionate touch or not; it is forbidden in the Torah. That is the reason why our sages have decreed the laws of separation as well as several other barriers.
1) The man must be careful not to behave with lightness of spirit before his wife, when she is niddah, nor should he talk to her about intimate matters during that period of time.
2) It is permissible for a man to be isolated in a room with his wife even during her periods, since he has already had intercourse with her and they will continue to have intercourse anyway in the future, meaning, when they can Halachically touch each other. Only in the event that they are not husband and wife (whether married woman or not) it is forbidden to isolate oneself with a woman that is not one's wife. It is also forbidden for a groom to isolate himself with his new wife on the wedding night if she is niddah since they have not yet known each other.
3) It is strictly forbidden to touch one's wife when she is niddah (even the little finger), we cannot even touch the clothes she wears. This prohibition is also for the wife in regards to her husband, she cannot touch him.
4) It is allowed to have a common towel or a common toothbrush.
5) The husband is not allowed to hand an object to his wife (putting something in her hand), and likewise the wife is not allowed to receive or hand anything to him. Even when the couple welcome guests in their home; although they would wish to remain discreet, they must still uphold this behaviours.
6) If the woman has trouble bringing down a baby's stroller alone, the husband may help her. They are allowed to each take one end of the stroller, and carry it together.
7) It is good that the man should be stricter with himself, like by not do feeding their child while in his wife's arms, when she is niddah. However, if really necessary, he may do it, making sure he does not touch his wife while he feeds the child while in her arm.
8) It is forbidden for a man to kiss his child who is in the arms of his wife when she is niddah, because it is a sign of affection. For the same reason, that the man should not light a cigarette to his wife, or drink the leftover in her glass.
9) It is permitted to take shelter under the same umbrella provided it is large enough that the husband and wife do not touch.
10) It is permitted to offer jewelry, gifts, ..., to his wife when she is niddah.
11) It is forbidden to eat from the same plate that his wife is eating when she is niddah.
12) It is forbidden to sit or lie on her bed where she sleeps, even if she is not there.
13) It is forbidden to replace the blanket over his wife while she is niddah, once it is fell on her body, he should not touch the blanket.
14) It is allowed to sit on the same bench that his wife even if it swings.
15) It is allowed to travel or drive around with his wife in the car while she is niddah.
16) It is permissible to look at the beauty of his wife while she is niddah.
17) It is permissible to hear the song of his wife while she is niddah.
18) It is not good to smell the scent of his wife perfume while she is niddah, but she it is permissible for a woman to smell the scent of her husband when she is niddah.
CHAPTER XV: PREPARATION FOR WEDDING: LAW ON VIRGINITY BLOOD (DAM BETULIM)
1) When determining the date for a Wedding, necessary precautions must be taken, not to choose a date that falls too close to the Bride's periods cycle (not to its beginning neither to its ending). In the case of a woman who has no fixed cycle, and that could have her periods accidentally appearing close to the wedding date, or if she is prone to have an accidental blood discharge because of all the emotions aroused by the wedding event, it would be wise if she took pills to delay her period cycle. If, however, despite all the precautions she still have her periods beginning shortly before or during the wedding, it will not be a reason to postpone the wedding. In such a case she should behave as we should in the case of a Chupat Niddah (Niddah Wedding).
2) One of the wedding preparations is to do the Hefsek Taharah, counting Shiva Nekiyim and immersing herself in a Kosher Mikveh before the wedding, even if it has been a long while since her last menstrual period, or even if she is sure to be pure (i.e a woman that has been married before, or in the case of menopause ...).
3) The new bride should examine herself as a pre-wedding Hefsek, she must do the same as she will be doing at the time of each of her actual monthly period cycle. The examination must include check in the holes and cracks in depth. In the case of a virgin bride, she should move the Taharah Cloth very gently in, a light wiping of herself would be worthless. And the next day, she must start counting the Shiva Nekiyim by examining herself well every day. Then she must go to the Mikveh to immerse herself doing her first Tevilah with beracha. Although married women must wait a minimum of 4 days before the Hefsek and then count seven days of purity, a bride should do her Hefsek as soon as she no longer find any of her Virginity blood. Then she should immerse herself right after she finish counting her 7 days of purity.
4) It is important for any new bride to do her Pre-wedding Hefsek Taharah right after last periods preceding the wedding due to the fear that all the emotions might cause some drops of blood to appear.
5) However a date for her Tevilah must be chosen as close to the wedding date as possible, it would also be good not to immerse more than four days before the wedding. Similarly, it would be good if she examines herself every day following the mikveh until the very day of the wedding.
6) A divorced woman must wait three months before re-marrying another man to make sure that she is not pregnant. And if she wants to remarry immediately after that time period, then she should count seven days Purity in the last week of the mentioned three months and so she will be able to get married again.
CHAPTER 16 : WEDDING NIDDAH
1) It is permitted to marry while the bride is niddah (Chupat Niddah). Nevertheless, it will be forbidden for the newly wed couple to be alone by themselves. The bride should sleep with the women and the groom with the men until she had counted 7 days of purity immersed herself in the mikveh. They may sleep in the same house with "Chaperones". It is mainly at night that they should not be isolated by themselves, no problem during day time.
2) If the bride becomes niddah at the first intercourse while the husband has not yet finished his intercourse (His organ is not fully inserted in her), then they are not obliged to separate rooms immediately but only at the end of that intercourse.
3) If a woman becomes niddah after a physical approach, she should consult a rabbinical authority.
4) A man is allowed to put the ring in the finger of a woman while she is niddah under the wedding chuppah.
CHAPTER 17: THE BLOOD VIRGINITY
1) If someone is marrying a Betulah (Virgin girl) must fulfil the Mitzvah intercourse with his wife and continue that first intercourse until he is done even though he sees blood flowing from her. He does not have to separate from her before completing that intercourse. As soon as he has finished, she will be considered to him as Niddah. He is then forbidden to touch her, he is not allowed to sleep with her in the same bed even if they are both dressed. They must implement all laws relating to a woman niddah. This true although the virginity blood is consider Pure Blood by the Torah, this rule is due to the fact that the Chachamim feared that because of the desire of that first intercourse a drop of impure blood might have come out of her womb at the same time.
2) When man marries a virgin girl, he must separate from her after the first intercourse even if examined herself and did not find any blood at all, this is in the fear that a drop of blood could have been lost and been covered by sperm. This applicable as soon as the husband is done after the intercourse.
3) If the woman found blood as the man had not finished with the intercourse (when his organ is not fully inserted in her), then they must separate. If she did not find blood, they may continue retrying with a second intercourse.
4) If the man had finished the intercourse (his organ was fully inserted in her) even if he did not ejaculate, they will have to separate, regardless of her finding blood or not.
5) How to proceed to purify after virginity blood: She must do her Hefsek Taharah after a minimum of 4 days and count Shiva Nekiyim afterward (4 + 7). If during the 7 days of purity, the woman has only examined herself the 1st and 7th day, she may immerse herself in the Mikveh afterwards given that this rule was only established by the Sages.
6) If the bride fears that her periods might appear while waiting four days before counting the Shiva Nekiyim, she may do her Hefsek Taharah the day after the first intercourse. She should proceed as follows: She should wipe herself well removing all sperm or wash herself thoroughly for the same reasons with hot water, then she may do her Hefsek Taharah afterward without having to wait until the end of four days. It would be best if she does both things: washing and wiping thoroughly.
CHAPTER 18: THE SECOND INTERCOURSE
1) After the second intercourse, the woman must examine herself again. If after this examination, she did not find any blood, she is pure, and even following the end of a double intercourse (where her husband's Organ was fully inserted in her only the second time), and even if she felt pain during the intercourse, she pure. But if after this examination, she found blood, she must separate from her husband, same procedure as following the first intercourse. Some women need a second intercourse to fully lose their Virginity.
2) If a woman finds blood after the 3rd and 4th intercourse, she will be considered niddah just as for the first time.
3) If a woman found blood after her first intercourse, and then for the 2nd has not found any blood following her examination, but then afterwards she find blood stain on a white sheet, she is still considered pure if the stain is less than 2 cm, otherwise she will be considered unclean. However, If is a coloured sheet, she is pure regardless of the dimension of the stain.
4) The previous case applies if the blood stain was found some time after the second intercourse. But if it was found immediately after the second intercourse, it is better to be stringent and do the Hefsek Taharah and the Shiva Nekiyim.
5) It is forbidden to have intercourse during daylight or using candle light at night. Nevertheless, some believe that for the first intercourse, it would be allowed given that with the first intercourse a woman can not get pregnant (these lights can have adversely affect procreation). Nevertheless, it is better to be more stringent in that regard.
6) If the next room is lit and the light shines through into the bedroom indirectly it is allowed to have sex using that light.
CHAPTER 19: THE VESSATOT (CYCLES) KNOWLEDGE OF ONE'S CYCLE - WHAT'S THE PURPOSE?
As we have already seen, man must separate from his wife as her menstrual cycle approaches (whether she has a steady / regular one or not) and she must always examine herself at the end of her cycle.
REGULAR CYCLE BASED ON TIME
There is an equal interval between two cycles (i.e. every 28 days)
CYCLE BASED ON THE MONTH
There are women that receive their periods on the same date every month (whether the month is of 29 or 30 days, ex. 3 Tishrei, 3 Cheshvan ...)
CYCLE BASED ON WEEKS
Example, the 4th Monday of the month, the woman has her period.
A changing interval cycle
Example 29d, 30d, 31d, ...
CYCLE AT A CONSTANT DEPENDING ON THE DAY OF THE MONTH
Example, 1 Tishrei, 2 Cheshvan, 3 Kislev, ...
SHIFTING CYCLE DATES
Example, 3 Tishrei, 3 Kislev, 3 Shevat
CYCLE AFTER SYMPTOMS
The woman feels a headache, stomach ache, she yawns.
After 3 times in a row, if a woman has her period always after one of these sensations (Symptoms), she has a fixed cycle based on her sensations. The feeling must always be the same though (ex. headache). Some type of food could also cause bleeding in some women.
HOW TO FIX THE CYCLE
Regular cycle: 3 times always at the same dates or interval with sensation. In the case of a regular cycle, whatsoever, the woman should distance herself from her husband at the foreseeable date. If the blood does not come at the expected date she may draw near her husband after.
HOW TO REMOVE (UPROOT) THE CYCLE
If the dates or intervals are no longer regular following 3 times on a row. The woman must ensure that there is no blood by her self-examination.
REGULAR CYCLES
The woman who has a fixed cycle should only fear the scheduled day of arrival of periods.
IRREGULAR CYCLES
Nowaday, the majority of women have no regular cycle, which means that the periods could appear unexpectedly at any time. To prevent sexual relationship while she is niddah, our Sages have set three days rule during which she might likely see her periods occur. During these three days, the couple are not allowed to have intimate relationships.
THE 3 DAYS PRICHA (SEPARATION) ARE THE FOLLOWING:
1st day of Pricha (separation): the general average of all women (Ona Benonit): Women usually have their periods 30 days after the beginning of the previous cycle. Therefore the 30th day will be a day of separation: This is the "average period" (Ona Benonit)
CALCULATION: First day of the previous cycle + 30 days = day of separation.
Example: Periods on the 5th Tishrei during the day, the month of Tishrei with 30 days, 4 Cheshvan is the day of the average period.
2nd day of Pricha (separation): the day of the Hebrew month (yom HaChodesh): Women also tend to menstruate on the same day on the Hebrew month that the previous periods occurred. Our sages determined that day as being a day of separation: it is "the day of the Month" (yom HaChodesh)
CALCULATION: Periods occurred on the 5th of Tishrei daytime, 5 Cheshvan is the day of the month.
3rd day of Pricha (separation): the day of the interval, ie the interval between the days the periods occurred the last two periods (Yom Hahaflaga): Women also tend to menstruate regularly, so Sages determined on the day interval (Yom Hahaflaga).
CALCULATION: 1st day of Periods + number of days observed between the last two previous Periods.
The Previous interval must be calculated from the beginning of the Periods to the beginning of the next Periods, the days of the beginning counted as part of the interval.
Example for an observed interval of 20 days: Periods on the 5th of Tishrei (1st day of the interval) Daytime + 20 days = 24 Tishrei
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